Boyfriend starts by hating the kitten, but over time grows so close to him that girlfriend gets jealous: ‘The cat is the center of [his] attention always’

Author image for Ayala Sorotsky
Ayala Sorotsky • Writer and Editor
Nov 18, 2025 3:00 PM EST

Meowing wow, how do we even begin explaining this situation? Look, let's start with some obvious truths:

First of all, if people are allergic to cats, there's no reason to force them to adopt cats. Yes, as much as we love cats with at least 300% of our hearts - we understand that allergic people can't simply have a cat and things will be magic. Not all people heal from an allergic reaction by exposure. But assuming a magical healing took place, this brings us to our second point.

Secondly, if a person fell in love with a cat - especially after they got over allergies that prevented them from doing so in the first place - there's no way we should ever break this bond. A bond between a cat and their person is one of the strongest in this world. It's sacred. People and cats are meant to live together, to show each other love, and that's beautiful.

Third and last thing, most relationship feuds can be solved by healthy communication. We're not relationship therapists, but cats? We know a thing or two about cats. And harboring jealousy by one half of a relationship over the other's bond with a cat is not good. The cat doesn't do this "on purpose", there's no malice in a cat's bond with their chosen person.

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  • 01
    Me and my boyfriend for been together almost 3 years and are living together. We
    via NoDivide3027
  • 02
    found a kitten 1 year ago and decided to keep it.
    via NoDivide3027
  • 03
    My boyfriend couldn't stand the cat for the first 9 months he is allergic and has never owned an animal.
    via NoDivide3027
  • 04
    man and cat on couch, man sneezes from cat allergies
    via Africa images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    Now our cat has gotten out of the kitten phase my boyfriends allergies don't flare up anymore, and loves
    via NoDivide3027
  • 06
    the cat that's his best friend, and I'm very happy that he knows what it's like to love an animal.
    via NoDivide3027
  • 07
    young man sitting on couch lovingly cuddles a cat who closes his eyes lovingly
    via Alena Ozerova

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    My boyfriend has a morning routine with the cat and also has to have him in bed on his chest before we go to sleep.
    via NoDivide3027
  • 09
    I do not have a problem with that at all. But it's gotten out of hand , the cat is the center of attention always.
    via NoDivide3027
  • 10
    couple sitting together, man cuddles a cat on his lap, woman looks away bored
    via Vlada Karpovich from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    And idk if I'm being dramatic?? The cat is his number one priority then me, when
    via NoDivide3027
  • 12
    I want to be cuddled in the couch I get 10 seconds of just us before the cat comes in and all his attention is on the cat.
    via NoDivide3027
  • 13
    man hugs a cat on his shoulders
    via Valeria_abrakadabra

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 14
    When he leaves in the morning he hugs and kiss the cat multiple times and I get a bye I love you.
    via NoDivide3027
  • 15
    man cuddles with a cat on the sofa, woman stands behind can't get the man's attention
    via Vlada Karpovich from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 16
    When I ask for the cat to be moved off his chest to another part of the bed so we can cuddle I get told you're overreacting.
    via NoDivide3027
  • 17
    I just want to be cuddled without a cat between us. I've
    via NoDivide3027
  • 18
    expressed multiple times I'd like the same kind of attention the cat gets from him, or how I'm bothered by this.
    via NoDivide3027
  • 19
    And the response is oh come on you're crazy / you'll die trying to make a woman happy.
    via NoDivide3027
  • 20
    couple in the house, man sits at the table cuddles a cat on his lap, woman serves food to table
    via Vlada Karpovich from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 21
    Am I crazy? Do I need a new boyfriend?
    via NoDivide3027
  • 22
    Remarkable-Cry7123 You cannot be jealous of a cat. Sounds like you're close. It's a cat.
    via Remarkable-Cry7123
  • 23
    snake14009 This is one of those be careful of what you ask for, you just might get it. Things
    via snake14009
  • 24
    Better-Park8752 You're probably overreacting, just a little. I see the issue is not the cat, but the lack of attention. No different to common complaints we hear
    via Better-Park8752
  • 25
    about partners spending their time/attention elsewhere. Have you tried 'I know the cat means a lot to you but I would like to cuddle and he/she is getting in the way of that. Can we all cuddle together?'
    via Better-Park8752
  • 26
    mando-inTX2224 New boyfriend
    via mando-inTX2224
  • 27
    cat looking into the camera, zoom in on his face
    via BiancaGrueneberg

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 28
    couple walking down the street, boyfriend looks back at another woman who walks by, girlfriend looks at boyfriend with bewilderment
    via Prostock-Studio

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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boyfriend ask reddit feud cat relationship jealous drama pets reddit story relationships girlfriend jealousy couples pet reddit thread Reddit Cats relationship drama couple
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